Red

The first beer I ever had was a Red Dog. I was 16 and at a high school party I didn't particularly go to. I wasn't a drinker, but someone handed me a beer. I grabbed a straw from the kitchen and nursed the beer through it for a good two hours before I left and sat the bottle down to flatten on the Formica counter top. From what I remember, Red Dog tasted like a banana.

Someone also told me the dog's face looked like Batman performing oral sex on a woman.

Ronald

Been a while.
Ronald Reagan with Elvis hair, a lasso, bolo tie, cowboy boots, western shirt and a big silver belt buckle. Standing on a pile of either jelly beans, Easter eggs or in a ball pit. Is it still satire if it's entirely accurate? And if it makes conservatives jizz their sweater vests?